Devious Concoctions.

Haha, chem’s done yesterday. Bio’s gone today! We’re like pratically free!!! Well, except for the agama students who have their exam tomorrow (wish y’all good luck). Hehe, so spm’s over. Schools days are like pratically over for us. We’re turning into college youths! Now does that sound any more enlightening then horrid school with rules and fixed uniforms? That has yet to be decided……..

So, got my plans ready for the after-spm week. So why am i not feeling as biosterous as i predicted myself to be? Hmm….. could be the reason is that my plans are a lil on the unorthodox side, but other than that it’s still safe and i will not be violated, or be drinking or caught smoking or be caught in any illegal underage activities or all of the above.

I have my friday plans after est, of course after the throwing or flour, eggs and anything sticky which would leave hair extremely hard after. (praying nisha wouldn’t bring that nata de coco whatever she threathened to bring)

I’ve got that saturday plan for the tuition party. Oddly, no one stays in TTDI, still it’s held in Shakeys in TTDI. Lucikly, i was able to subdue my mom regarding transportation and it’s-not-safe lecture. Found out the whole group’s meeting at the tuition and a few guys are driving us there. Phew (bags i in Rizal’s Juara!) Shalini and i were suppose to be doing the cover for this scrapebook (memories of the form 5 or something) but we ended up not doing it together and she having completed it by now. Considering i spent 2 hours planning the whole thing just to find out i didn’t need to, should i be grateful or irritated? Extra long story if i state the reasons, but tis a happy day, we shall not dwell further on that topic.

Then sunday comes. Whoa, a really long day with a whole lot of complications. Both bal’s plans and mine totally clash with each other. That’s not to say in the least that i do not want to join in sunday’s activities; heck i’m meeting with my girlfriends and we’re going shopping and going to watch Julies Caeser and then back to s’ban, what more can a girl want? It’s just that i feel like i’m disappointing my mom’s plans (basic to mine) and wasting my bro’s applied job-leave. At least he’ll come watch the play, now not very sure if that’s gonna happen. Guilty conscious is sinking in deep levels now….. Yes, i know i should not complain, seeing as i had not comfirmed my plans earlier. But let’s just hope that sunday runs smoothly, and my mom’s lecture about my obeying-my-friends are only words. Don’t ask, i’ve had a rough day. I think my grammers going, as i really am feeling giddy.

Oh hehe, and i so cannot wait for prom night on wednesday next week at JW Marriot! It’s gonna be da bomb! Or whatever lingo they say in the seventies! Saturday Wednesday Night Fever anyone?

Haha, seems that whenever i make a resolution to faithfully update my blog or diary, it never is fulfilled! Anyway, my entry’s about the same to those who are sitting the oh-so dreaded torture which the government likes to put us under - SPM. Parents expecting their kids to score better than other parent’s off springs so they can brag over dinner parties or any get-together; tuition teachers really expecting their students to do better than well to get more admiration to fit their already enlarged ego; students crashing and burning under the intense pressure and heat of this exam; are some of the well known phenomenon of why exams should be banned. Goodness knows if we had an essay topic like this we’ll score A++ for originality and style.

I’ve seen some, more of my friends already melting from this, and I’m glad to say we have 8 more not-so-harmless papers to go. Unfortunately i chose the perfect week to fall sick. Haha, screw my moral and add math papers! doesn’t matter if my parents and teachers dreams get washed down the gutters just coz i could hardly focus on those papers! Doesn’t matter if the 2 whole years of practice and hard work comes to not getting an A! Heck, the medicine wasn’t suppose to make me drowsy. But i beg to differ; that wasn’t how i felt when it was nearing the end of the paper! Haha, i if i do fail, I’ll sue the doctor.

Granted i know i wouldn’t get 10 A1’s. Knowing how much effort I’ve put in these past 2 years getting ready for this day. But my ego wouldn’t let me hear the last of it. Ever since yesterday, after the add math paper to be exact, this is irritating voice keeps ringing in my head, telling me my poor efforts; laughing in my face with the common saying See? i told u so! Nyeh Nyeh Nyeh!’ It’s even more scary when ur dad compares u to ur cousin who got 11 A1 like 5 years ago! And we know how tough the standard was back then! Anyway back to the point. Why am i so persistent for 10 A1 knowing how weak my preparation and last minutes cramming always turn out? Answer’s simple. When ur with friends who undoubtedly always score, u feel inferior. It’s natural instinct to do better, though sometimes not a very wise move. In this case, I’ve taken this a lil too far. What’s the big deal if we don’t score? It’s not like we’re never gonna get a job or be accepted in any college? Okie granted they do look at ur academics but all I’m saying (and i better be telling this to myself next week) it’s much more satisfying to know u’ve given all your best towards to paper and once outside the hall, just shut ur mind to all whispering poisonous voices.

I’m such a hypocrite.

Let’s see….. what have i been doing for the past few days? Cramming myself with history facts? Check. Going to tuition diligently when i should have been taking it easy? check. Getting myself pumped up for SPM? check. Watch any new movies? Check! (corpse bride is totally awesome! Go watch it NOW!) Dreaming away about what’s after the SPM? check. Typing out this blog when i should be studying and hoping my mom wouldn’t catch me even though she’s downstairs and the music’s blaring? double check. Getting grounded? oh hell ya…….