Devious Concoctions.

Haha, seems that whenever i make a resolution to faithfully update my blog or diary, it never is fulfilled! Anyway, my entry’s about the same to those who are sitting the oh-so dreaded torture which the government likes to put us under - SPM. Parents expecting their kids to score better than other parent’s off springs so they can brag over dinner parties or any get-together; tuition teachers really expecting their students to do better than well to get more admiration to fit their already enlarged ego; students crashing and burning under the intense pressure and heat of this exam; are some of the well known phenomenon of why exams should be banned. Goodness knows if we had an essay topic like this we’ll score A++ for originality and style.

I’ve seen some, more of my friends already melting from this, and I’m glad to say we have 8 more not-so-harmless papers to go. Unfortunately i chose the perfect week to fall sick. Haha, screw my moral and add math papers! doesn’t matter if my parents and teachers dreams get washed down the gutters just coz i could hardly focus on those papers! Doesn’t matter if the 2 whole years of practice and hard work comes to not getting an A! Heck, the medicine wasn’t suppose to make me drowsy. But i beg to differ; that wasn’t how i felt when it was nearing the end of the paper! Haha, i if i do fail, I’ll sue the doctor.

Granted i know i wouldn’t get 10 A1’s. Knowing how much effort I’ve put in these past 2 years getting ready for this day. But my ego wouldn’t let me hear the last of it. Ever since yesterday, after the add math paper to be exact, this is irritating voice keeps ringing in my head, telling me my poor efforts; laughing in my face with the common saying See? i told u so! Nyeh Nyeh Nyeh!’ It’s even more scary when ur dad compares u to ur cousin who got 11 A1 like 5 years ago! And we know how tough the standard was back then! Anyway back to the point. Why am i so persistent for 10 A1 knowing how weak my preparation and last minutes cramming always turn out? Answer’s simple. When ur with friends who undoubtedly always score, u feel inferior. It’s natural instinct to do better, though sometimes not a very wise move. In this case, I’ve taken this a lil too far. What’s the big deal if we don’t score? It’s not like we’re never gonna get a job or be accepted in any college? Okie granted they do look at ur academics but all I’m saying (and i better be telling this to myself next week) it’s much more satisfying to know u’ve given all your best towards to paper and once outside the hall, just shut ur mind to all whispering poisonous voices.

I’m such a hypocrite.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005 at 8:58 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.