Choices…. Choices…. Choices
Well…… I guess this is it. I mean after like 3 months of doing completely nothing at home (though i consider day-dreaming alot doing something) i finally get to go to college. Doing A Levels in Taylors. Happy? Not so. Excited? Very. Nervous? Extremely. Even though AL is in my to-avoid-list, i guess there is nothing much i can do about it. Considering that it’s gonna be SPM-cum-STPM and i’m sure to be in a nervous wreck and no tuition this time (shoot!), yea i’m hoping i would discover what i wanna do for the rest of my life. Yes, that is why i ‘have’ to take AL, because i have no idea what i wanna be. Oh bother.
It’s been really bugging me for the past one month and even more so when it’s nearing the day. For one, most graduates don’t work as what they graduate with. Isn’t that a total waste? I guess i’m being over cautious. But i can’t help it. Considering i made one mistake already (okie it wasn’t a mistake but deemed so by others) i just want to settle on something and go all the way with it. How do we exactly know that that particular job is what we wanna do for the rest of our lives? Answer is, we don’t. We’re human and we make mistakes, tumble and fall, pick ourselves up and start over. God, i hate it when i answer myself. Argh! I’m getting nowhere!
I did consider doing something that i’m good at, but not neccesarily like it, so that i might earn enough to keep me, myself and i happy. Haha, since when does money ever buy happines? (there i go again answering myself) I guess i just don’t wanna end up like what my parents are doing. They just do it for the job, to earn to keep the family together kinda situation. That’s good and everything, but that’s not satisfying. Sooner or later, i’m gonna be bored, and when i’m bored, i go crazy and do nutz stuff like, today. Forced myself to read Da Vince Code even though the damn movie spoilt it (ppl, always read the novel first, then watch the movie) and ended up in a serious delegation with one of the music teachers on Christianity……. which concluded with Phantom of the Opera?? Okie… that wasn’t very nutty….
Nowadays, i’m just freakin paranoid of making bad choices. I just never thought i would end up making decisions like these before. (curse the M’sian Edu system for not allowing their students take up subs they want in higer grades). I’m just having a bad day i guess. Maybe that’s why i’m being all so contemplative today. Shucks, curse sardin sambal…………..
June 24th, 2006 at 11:31 pm
haha~! u worry too much.. taylor’s really fun~! it’s a bit small, i mean it’s a square piece of land smack in the middle of a very crowded, and happening place. =p kidding.. and i have no idea what i wanna be too~!(that’s the main reason i took A level’s) it’s driving my mom crazy but whatever, i’m sure i’ll know what to do after this one and a half years(i mean one year, i only have one year left) hehe, so i’m sure u will too~! enjoy ur time in college,will probably see u around. ciao~!