Devious Concoctions.

I lie awake beside the windowsill
Like a flower in a vase
A moment caught in glass

The rays of sunlight come and beckon me
To a sleepy dreamy haze
A sense of summer days

If only I could stop the flow of time
Turn the clock to yesterday
Erasing all the pain

I’ve only memories of happiness
Such pleasures we have shared
I’d do it all again

This scenery is evergreen
As buds turn into leaves
The colours live and breath
This scenery is evergreen
Your tears are falling silently

So full of joy you are the child of spring
With a beauty that is pure
An innocence endures

You flow right through me like a medicine
Bringing quiet to my soul
Without you I am nor whole

This scenery is evergreen
I need you far too much
I long to feel your touch
This scenery is evergreen
You’ve always been so dear to me

This scenery is evergreen
It sorrows at the sight of seeing you so sad
This scenery is evergreen
I wish i could dry your eyes

The bells have rung the time has come
I cannot find the words to say my last goodbyes
This scenery is evergreen
You’ve always been so dear to me

I think back, and immediately my thoughts take form of you. No particular reason what-so-ever and my lips curl into a smile as i recall the fun, care-free times we shared. There was no one i was ever closer to except you. I had you, and u had me. That was all that mattered. If time would stop being cruel and the world stop revolving on it axis, then I could fairly say that i would be the happiest person on Earth.

I think back, back to when I first met you. I was so shy, i could hardly say hi. Fate was kind to introduce me to you. Fair enough, you opened up my eyes, my vision beyond to what i could just see. My horizon was widen. If there was a single solitaire bone in me, you would warm it up with your constance bubbly chatter and laughter, till i laugh with you. Life was never a dull moment from then on.

I think back, and there you are. Crying your eyes out, telling me he’s done you wrong. I console you, lend you my shoulders to weep on, dry your eyes, hear your problems away. I remember a similar senario, except it was me bawling my eyes out. After a while, you would smile and express a grateful, ‘thank you’ and i would merely reply, ‘What are friends for?’ Ah, how simple things were then.

I think back, and I see us, not as childish girls anymore. But as grown-up teens, with different mindsets, ideas, taste in clothes, music and boys. Still we clung on to each other from the obstacles life might throw at us.I was grateful that whenever I was lost, it was you i could fall back on. Someone i could turn to, someone who knew me better than anyone else, someone i trusted. Being so safe and secure, one could conveniently forget about being careful.

I think back, without smiles on our faces as we look at each other in the eye. Hatred filled the room and the temperature rose. I was so hurt and angry, and i did not hesitate to shout out so. You did the same thing, and neither of us improved the heated situation. The thin, worn string that bound us close finally broke free, and for the first time, you walked north while i turn towards south. Never have i cried so much, and the tears sting the wounds that i knew would never heal. 

I think back, to the last day of school. You were at the gates, laughing with your new found friends. I knew you were happier then, with your bigger social circle and significant other. I on the other hand, grew stronger, ignorant and decided to shut off the words of farewell that i wanted to wish you. As i watch you from the tinted windows of my car, i silently bid you goodbye and good luck. From the rear view mirror, i saw you watch my car speed down the hill before turning your focus to what was important in your life. I wonder what u were thinking.

I think back, just yesteday, when i saw you strolling on the sidewalk, browsing the boutique shops. How we have changed over the years. I could hardly recognise you, with your long, black mascara and heavily lined eyes right down to those ‘in’ open-toe sandals i once remember you saying you would never wear, even if you life depended on it. I smiled and for a brief moment, seriously considered walking across to ask how you were. Then from behind, a group blasted you with greetings and before long, you were walking arm-in-arm with another friend, laughing and talking cheerfully for all to hear. Regardless, I was glad to know that you are still happy.

I think back, to now. And i ask myself who am i thinking of. Is it one person or the other? There are so many people in my life who has shaped me to become the person i am today. So you know who you are, just know that i am thinking of you and whispering a silent prayer for times ahead. A beintot et savoir avec certitude destin aux introduire nous a nouveau.

Currently listening to Metallica - Enter the Sandman. Haha, am totally influenced by the girls in my band to start listening to old school metal. Or was it rock? I still don’t know how to differentiate between the 2 of them. Oh well, they’re cool anyway. I’m so in love with Nickelback! Their songs may be all the same theme, but i still love it. Haha, i’m such a poor critique on music. I mean, some people are fussy in the sense that if the music has the same chords played over and over again, they think they’re none creative. However, if the music is catchy, or i like it, i don’t really mind if they play it all in G chord or whatever. Not to mention i don’t really listen to the chords being played bar by bar, i just listen to it whole.

I miss everyone in Mass Comm. I just saw Alvin and Kerry like 4 hours ago. I was a brief meeting coz they had to rush for some practice. But for that lil moment, i almost wished i hadn’t given in so easily and go to A levels. I would still be hanging out with the other girls and laughing in class, and munching on skittles secretly. Sigh………… Oh well. Everything happens for a reason kan? Can’t wait to see what’s the reason for this….

Lately i’ve been lending an ear to listen to everyone’s problems. Of course, most of them had something to do with relationships. Ah… the trauma we teens go through in our evolution from teen to adult. Oh well. It’s odd. No matter what i hear, and who i hear it from, they all have a similar pattern. Both party seems to think that the other is at fault. We’re so kiasu that we refuse to let defeat. Of course, some of us may just back down coz we don’t want the arguement/situation to worsen. But think about it. It’s not who’s at fault. Because technically, it takes 2 to tango. So if something were to disrupt the peace of a r’ship, don’t u think it’s both their faults? One hand doesn’t clap by itself (or something along that line) U bboth share the same world, doesn’t it makes sense that not only party can make life hell? Well, yea in certain cases it’s one who’s at fault like if he/she is cheating or so and so. But well, we know what to do with poison people like that right??

And for god sakes, when things like these happens, please do talk it out. I mean hey, u don’t wanna pretend it didn’t happen and move on right? Even though it is the much easier/less painful way. Yea, brilliant and let ur heart and brain remember that incident be vengeful for the rest of ur life. Come on! Yea, u guys are suppose to be honest to each other right? To not hide things and not hide ur feelings. By talking things out, both parties can see the problem through the other’s eyes. And for once, stop assuming things!! Talk it out, tell what u feel. Don’t be afraid to ask y. She/he is ur significant other. There is already a certain amount of trustworthiness, so fear not. Breath, and fire away. Good luck!