I think back.
I think back, and immediately my thoughts take form of you. No particular reason what-so-ever and my lips curl into a smile as i recall the fun, care-free times we shared. There was no one i was ever closer to except you. I had you, and u had me. That was all that mattered. If time would stop being cruel and the world stop revolving on it axis, then I could fairly say that i would be the happiest person on Earth.
I think back, back to when I first met you. I was so shy, i could hardly say hi. Fate was kind to introduce me to you. Fair enough, you opened up my eyes, my vision beyond to what i could just see. My horizon was widen. If there was a single solitaire bone in me, you would warm it up with your constance bubbly chatter and laughter, till i laugh with you. Life was never a dull moment from then on.
I think back, and there you are. Crying your eyes out, telling me he’s done you wrong. I console you, lend you my shoulders to weep on, dry your eyes, hear your problems away. I remember a similar senario, except it was me bawling my eyes out. After a while, you would smile and express a grateful, ‘thank you’ and i would merely reply, ‘What are friends for?’ Ah, how simple things were then.
I think back, and I see us, not as childish girls anymore. But as grown-up teens, with different mindsets, ideas, taste in clothes, music and boys. Still we clung on to each other from the obstacles life might throw at us.I was grateful that whenever I was lost, it was you i could fall back on. Someone i could turn to, someone who knew me better than anyone else, someone i trusted. Being so safe and secure, one could conveniently forget about being careful.
I think back, without smiles on our faces as we look at each other in the eye. Hatred filled the room and the temperature rose. I was so hurt and angry, and i did not hesitate to shout out so. You did the same thing, and neither of us improved the heated situation. The thin, worn string that bound us close finally broke free, and for the first time, you walked north while i turn towards south. Never have i cried so much, and the tears sting the wounds that i knew would never heal.
I think back, to the last day of school. You were at the gates, laughing with your new found friends. I knew you were happier then, with your bigger social circle and significant other. I on the other hand, grew stronger, ignorant and decided to shut off the words of farewell that i wanted to wish you. As i watch you from the tinted windows of my car, i silently bid you goodbye and good luck. From the rear view mirror, i saw you watch my car speed down the hill before turning your focus to what was important in your life. I wonder what u were thinking.
I think back, just yesteday, when i saw you strolling on the sidewalk, browsing the boutique shops. How we have changed over the years. I could hardly recognise you, with your long, black mascara and heavily lined eyes right down to those ‘in’ open-toe sandals i once remember you saying you would never wear, even if you life depended on it. I smiled and for a brief moment, seriously considered walking across to ask how you were. Then from behind, a group blasted you with greetings and before long, you were walking arm-in-arm with another friend, laughing and talking cheerfully for all to hear. Regardless, I was glad to know that you are still happy.
I think back, to now. And i ask myself who am i thinking of. Is it one person or the other? There are so many people in my life who has shaped me to become the person i am today. So you know who you are, just know that i am thinking of you and whispering a silent prayer for times ahead. A beintot et savoir avec certitude destin aux introduire nous a nouveau.
