Devious Concoctions.

I must be getting old….. For the duration of the hols, i’ve been out, returning during the evening and then staying up till 2 am on the net. Only to wake up at 8 am the next day because i’m accustomed to it. I’m so def not a party girl…..

Anyway, i’m returning back to college next week. Where i will be sitting for my A2 shortly…. and receiving my AS results. Lord knows i didn’t do well… (especially for physics) thing is, i tried to care about what i’m learning. But frankly i don’t. And this worries me. The not caring part. If i don’t do well (let’s not go exceedingly well) i’ve not only let down my parents and myself, but their money and my time. Which could be better used for something more fulfilling. My bro tells me not to worry whether i’ve gotten straight A’s or not. The least i did was try my best. Good question. Did i do my best? Or did i really play around? *inhales deeply* who would have thought i would play around with studies? This nerd from Sri Hartamas….. okie a lazy nerd at that….. the next 6 months would be intense studying i suppose.

To tell you the truth
Would mean i was lying all this while
To lie in the dark
Would mean begging for hurt and ache

I never felt complete with you
I never once laugh with you
But all in all
I’m just a silly little girl

Never imagine holding on
Never once thought you were true
Always pictured you like the rest
Contrary, you’ve never cross that path

You blow hot and cold
So much so I fear you
Is it because of what I’ve become
Or is it that we’ll never be one

My mind drives logic and facts
My heart steers emotions
Both of these
Makes me confuse of what you seek

Tell me what you want with me
And is this how you play the game
I need to know
For as sure as my blood still flows

Maybe i won’t get an answer from you
Maybe I’ll never know
But as much as i know
I know part of me still believes
In you