Devious Concoctions.

Heya! It’s been quite  a while and i still haven’t updated my blog on what happened on sat (2nd Sept). Okie, for those of y’all who came to support me (or watch the other girls, u know who i’m talking about!) thanks so much! I really appreciate the concern and effort that u guys had to take to come! *hugs*

Anyway, about the day… ooh yea, i woke up at 6.00am. It’s super early but actually i was suppose to be at Sunway Pyramid at 6 am! Yea, got a bit on the wrong side of Winnie… hehe, sorry…Anyway, we had to like practice our catwalk for like an hour and a half. I had the most difficult time. Y? Coz i never practiced that, thought i could aced it, only practice with my friend the day before! Luckily my mind wasn’t so into the fashion show.

After that, each and everyone of us took our turns to perform and use the stage, while being watched by the other girls. No secrets now actually, we gave each other honest feedback, just in time to change any last min screw-ups. So then it came to my turn. Uh oh…. actually i’ve been on stage, but never ALONE! so i got so nervous, even though it was like in front of 20 ppl or less that i kinda screwed up a few tricks. The girls notice it which made it even worse. So yea, after that, we trotted of back to our hotel rooms to rest and get ready. For the whole 5 hours b4 the show, i was rehearsing and well, thinking and adding and editing my patter. Last minute brain-rehearsing never works btw. U just end up being even more scared that u were. I pity my friend, Balqis, aka my manage (hehe…) coz she had to calm me down (it’s not easy, trust me) and talk me out of pulling out! I was that nervous! So anyway, i began to relax after i stop thinking about it. or tried to….

2.30pm : The show was about to start in 30mins more. Back stage, with my costume on (It’s so cute, it’s a halter tux, something like what Liza Minelle wore with tail coats! Got it from Costume Fiesta, Desa H’Mas) and make-up with makes me look all the more mysterious, i was more or less pacing up and down and talking to myself. 3pm it started! We have Ean from Hitz.fm as our MC and that guy can really hype up the crowd! Well, the first 5 girls went up; Yasmeen rapped, Aimee sang a malay song, Germaine sang Kelly Clarkson ‘A moment like this’, Sue Yenn sang Phantom of the opera and dance to ‘Fighter’ by Christina A. and Preeta did an Indian cultural cum modern dance. Sue Yenn totally rock! Her voice could reach those high notes without breaking and her dance routine was nailed solid! Back stage we were all screaming for her! It was that good! U’ve to see it to believe it! Anyway they had a short break before resuming the performance. Estee went up and sang to ‘Somewhere over the rainbow’ rock version! Then it came to my turn!

I was seriously nervous, particularly coz 2 guys would be carrying my table and i’m a bit particular if anything goes out of place! But anyway, with my wide smile i went on. The nervousness kinda melted away when i got on and saw my family and my friends who were carrying huge banners with words like ‘we Love jennifer’ and stuff, that i knew if i do screw up i would still have my friends to scream for me!so i just went on as usual, remembering this time to speak clearly and not panic! I did the hand contorting trick and then went on to calling a volunteer. This lil cute girl was the first to come up! Went on with making a silk appear and disappear into her ear. Then it came to the linking rings. I was most comfortable with this trick coz i had used this for a good deal longer than the rest of the apparatus. Though i don’t know much fancy moves with it… It went fine, and then i called up another volunteer to ‘teach’ them how to link it. Made a bit of a comedy act and ended it with stealing her watch! I got the most claps for this! Then i brought out the a small bag and, since 2 days earlier we celebrated our 49th Independance Day, i did something with pulling out the M’sian flag from coloured silks. This was the most trickest to me coz i didn’t have a proper presentation patter for this, kinda changed it like 5 times… Anyway then came the disappearing bowl and concluded with a Snow Storm from China trick. Overall the feeling was good and i’m proud that i made it this far! Later the judges asked me a somewhat Ms World question; ‘who would you pick, out of these 10 girls to be the winner?’ Okie, i particularly didn’t get prepared so i went ahead and said myself! Yea, a bit harsh but yea, i think i worked harder than the others on my performance. Then later the fashion show and after the announcement of winners!

6pm : and the results is….. Ms.Fasio and Ms. Photogenic won by Anita, Ms Hitz won by Ezra, Ms Roxy by i-forgot-who, and Ms Confidence and the winner by Sue Yenn! I was a bit sad that i didn’t get anything, but i was happy for the winner! And well, even if i didn’t win anything, at least i was on stage as a magician. To me, that counted more than just winning! I remember someone saying, you may have lost the battle, but u haven’t lost the war. We’ll see what happens next… won’t we?

I finally checked out MTR! Yes, yes i’m a bit slow on these things, but oh gosh, i wanna work there! Maybe after A levels or something eh?

Wheee….. i’m so marvelously brilliant even i don’t know it. Of course by saying so i’m meaning ironically/sarcastically! Anyway, i manage to injure myself just 2 days before the competition! How perfect timing is that? It’s the playing-with-fire trick. Okie okie, fine i was careless for not taking precautions. Guess i was over-that-phase of being cautious? It’s like just when u thought the next door dog wasn’t gonna bite you, u put ur hand over the fence….. Ouch….. Could have been worse on that day…..Anyway, looks like we’re gonna have to do something else. With 2 days more, i’m sure we can find/work something out! (trying to sound as optimistic as posssible =D)

Anyway, guess i’m hit hard with this new craze. Remeber 2 years ago i was crazy about hip-hop? Yea don’t worry i still am, but unfortunately kinda rusty and recently just heard about the end-of-the-year anniversary performance but won’t be able to participate coz i’ve to attend a cousin’s wedding the following day. Darn…. not again this year! Haha, the new craze? Magic! Y? I didn’t really know it at first, but when i should some of my tricks to a few people, their expression and the response i got just made all the practice worthwhile. I def think that this new hobby can take me places or at least show me something that the naked eye can’t see. Okie yes it sounds a bit sceptical now but i know i can do it! I started off with cards and i intend to become skilful in it. Yes, laugh all you want whoever’s reading this. But watch out next time if i pull a card from thin air or from my mouth or somewhere else unexpectable! Haha…….

So yea, back to the competition. I’m thankful i didn’t lose a limb (particularly my fingers) and luckily the burn’s on my arm! I can still play the piano then! Hehe, i’m taking this burn scar as like something i can be proud like. Kinda like sayin, ‘At least i attempted it!’ Yay me! I guess it’s better i got the feel of it today than on THE day itself……So ahem, better get back to practice i guess. So please ppl, if ur gonna or not gonna come, just msg me via hp or friendster like by friday night! Would love to see you guys there! so just remember it’s this Saturday (2nd september 2006) at LL1 Main Concourse, Sunway Pyramid from 3pm-6pm. See ya! Peace out!

Well i guess what people say is true. You need a wake-up call every now and then. When is mine going to come??!?!?

Everyday is a whole same routine. If you thought school was bad enough, welcome to college life! I think seeing all 4 of your teachers everyday is depressing! In school u get alternate days, that’s when u can decide to skip school or not. I mean i do like my teachers, but it’s getting really monotonus, not that i can complain or do anything to change the whole schedule system….. still, would just like to voice it out.

Anyway, like after the whole darn episode in tuition last year (the bigger commotion, not the smaller one) I’m beginning to doubt myself. Last time i use to talk so freely, now i watch and analyse and ponder and think about it consistently of what i say to people. Particularly when that person gives me a look that reads, ‘Watch it.’ Yes yes i know it’s time to grow up and learn from ur mistakes and blah blah blah, but does everything have to be so restricted when ur doing so? Where has that talkative girl gone to? Okie, okie i still talk alot, but i just realise i don’t talk about everything anymore, just like i use to do. Is this part of having a change in environment? I thought it’s suppose to do more good than harm!

I guess maybe i just need to breath and not think so much (God knows how many times i’ve tried that and failed) and think more positively? Like this guy in my class, Hari aka the Eternal Sunshine (that’s what i call him) He’s like at peace with the whole world. Everything that happens to him he just kinda like laughs it off and goes, ‘Oh well….’ just like that. He’s like always this laughing, happy-go-lucky person. It’s amazing, that Hari.

I think it all bears down to that i miss all my friends who happily studying in HELP (don’t say HELP is more happening than Taylors, it’s only gonna make me regret going to taylors) and well, enjoying college life. Oh well, that’s me. I just envy people, bad habit… must stop… soon.

I lie awake beside the windowsill
Like a flower in a vase
A moment caught in glass

The rays of sunlight come and beckon me
To a sleepy dreamy haze
A sense of summer days

If only I could stop the flow of time
Turn the clock to yesterday
Erasing all the pain

I’ve only memories of happiness
Such pleasures we have shared
I’d do it all again

This scenery is evergreen
As buds turn into leaves
The colours live and breath
This scenery is evergreen
Your tears are falling silently

So full of joy you are the child of spring
With a beauty that is pure
An innocence endures

You flow right through me like a medicine
Bringing quiet to my soul
Without you I am nor whole

This scenery is evergreen
I need you far too much
I long to feel your touch
This scenery is evergreen
You’ve always been so dear to me

This scenery is evergreen
It sorrows at the sight of seeing you so sad
This scenery is evergreen
I wish i could dry your eyes

The bells have rung the time has come
I cannot find the words to say my last goodbyes
This scenery is evergreen
You’ve always been so dear to me

I think back, and immediately my thoughts take form of you. No particular reason what-so-ever and my lips curl into a smile as i recall the fun, care-free times we shared. There was no one i was ever closer to except you. I had you, and u had me. That was all that mattered. If time would stop being cruel and the world stop revolving on it axis, then I could fairly say that i would be the happiest person on Earth.

I think back, back to when I first met you. I was so shy, i could hardly say hi. Fate was kind to introduce me to you. Fair enough, you opened up my eyes, my vision beyond to what i could just see. My horizon was widen. If there was a single solitaire bone in me, you would warm it up with your constance bubbly chatter and laughter, till i laugh with you. Life was never a dull moment from then on.

I think back, and there you are. Crying your eyes out, telling me he’s done you wrong. I console you, lend you my shoulders to weep on, dry your eyes, hear your problems away. I remember a similar senario, except it was me bawling my eyes out. After a while, you would smile and express a grateful, ‘thank you’ and i would merely reply, ‘What are friends for?’ Ah, how simple things were then.

I think back, and I see us, not as childish girls anymore. But as grown-up teens, with different mindsets, ideas, taste in clothes, music and boys. Still we clung on to each other from the obstacles life might throw at us.I was grateful that whenever I was lost, it was you i could fall back on. Someone i could turn to, someone who knew me better than anyone else, someone i trusted. Being so safe and secure, one could conveniently forget about being careful.

I think back, without smiles on our faces as we look at each other in the eye. Hatred filled the room and the temperature rose. I was so hurt and angry, and i did not hesitate to shout out so. You did the same thing, and neither of us improved the heated situation. The thin, worn string that bound us close finally broke free, and for the first time, you walked north while i turn towards south. Never have i cried so much, and the tears sting the wounds that i knew would never heal. 

I think back, to the last day of school. You were at the gates, laughing with your new found friends. I knew you were happier then, with your bigger social circle and significant other. I on the other hand, grew stronger, ignorant and decided to shut off the words of farewell that i wanted to wish you. As i watch you from the tinted windows of my car, i silently bid you goodbye and good luck. From the rear view mirror, i saw you watch my car speed down the hill before turning your focus to what was important in your life. I wonder what u were thinking.

I think back, just yesteday, when i saw you strolling on the sidewalk, browsing the boutique shops. How we have changed over the years. I could hardly recognise you, with your long, black mascara and heavily lined eyes right down to those ‘in’ open-toe sandals i once remember you saying you would never wear, even if you life depended on it. I smiled and for a brief moment, seriously considered walking across to ask how you were. Then from behind, a group blasted you with greetings and before long, you were walking arm-in-arm with another friend, laughing and talking cheerfully for all to hear. Regardless, I was glad to know that you are still happy.

I think back, to now. And i ask myself who am i thinking of. Is it one person or the other? There are so many people in my life who has shaped me to become the person i am today. So you know who you are, just know that i am thinking of you and whispering a silent prayer for times ahead. A beintot et savoir avec certitude destin aux introduire nous a nouveau.

Currently listening to Metallica - Enter the Sandman. Haha, am totally influenced by the girls in my band to start listening to old school metal. Or was it rock? I still don’t know how to differentiate between the 2 of them. Oh well, they’re cool anyway. I’m so in love with Nickelback! Their songs may be all the same theme, but i still love it. Haha, i’m such a poor critique on music. I mean, some people are fussy in the sense that if the music has the same chords played over and over again, they think they’re none creative. However, if the music is catchy, or i like it, i don’t really mind if they play it all in G chord or whatever. Not to mention i don’t really listen to the chords being played bar by bar, i just listen to it whole.

I miss everyone in Mass Comm. I just saw Alvin and Kerry like 4 hours ago. I was a brief meeting coz they had to rush for some practice. But for that lil moment, i almost wished i hadn’t given in so easily and go to A levels. I would still be hanging out with the other girls and laughing in class, and munching on skittles secretly. Sigh………… Oh well. Everything happens for a reason kan? Can’t wait to see what’s the reason for this….

Lately i’ve been lending an ear to listen to everyone’s problems. Of course, most of them had something to do with relationships. Ah… the trauma we teens go through in our evolution from teen to adult. Oh well. It’s odd. No matter what i hear, and who i hear it from, they all have a similar pattern. Both party seems to think that the other is at fault. We’re so kiasu that we refuse to let defeat. Of course, some of us may just back down coz we don’t want the arguement/situation to worsen. But think about it. It’s not who’s at fault. Because technically, it takes 2 to tango. So if something were to disrupt the peace of a r’ship, don’t u think it’s both their faults? One hand doesn’t clap by itself (or something along that line) U bboth share the same world, doesn’t it makes sense that not only party can make life hell? Well, yea in certain cases it’s one who’s at fault like if he/she is cheating or so and so. But well, we know what to do with poison people like that right??

And for god sakes, when things like these happens, please do talk it out. I mean hey, u don’t wanna pretend it didn’t happen and move on right? Even though it is the much easier/less painful way. Yea, brilliant and let ur heart and brain remember that incident be vengeful for the rest of ur life. Come on! Yea, u guys are suppose to be honest to each other right? To not hide things and not hide ur feelings. By talking things out, both parties can see the problem through the other’s eyes. And for once, stop assuming things!! Talk it out, tell what u feel. Don’t be afraid to ask y. She/he is ur significant other. There is already a certain amount of trustworthiness, so fear not. Breath, and fire away. Good luck!

Well…… I guess this is it. I mean after like 3 months of doing completely nothing at home (though i consider day-dreaming alot doing something) i finally get to go to college. Doing A Levels in Taylors. Happy? Not so. Excited? Very. Nervous? Extremely. Even though AL is in my to-avoid-list, i guess there is nothing much i can do about it. Considering that it’s gonna be SPM-cum-STPM and i’m sure to be in a nervous wreck and no tuition this time (shoot!), yea i’m hoping i would discover what i wanna do for the rest of my life. Yes, that is why i ‘have’ to take AL, because i have no idea what i wanna be. Oh bother.

It’s been really bugging me for the past one month and even more so when it’s nearing the day. For one, most graduates don’t work as what they graduate with. Isn’t that a total waste? I guess i’m being over cautious. But i can’t help it. Considering i made one mistake already (okie it wasn’t a mistake but deemed so by others) i just want to settle on something and go all the way with it. How do we exactly know that that particular job is what we wanna do for the rest of our lives? Answer is, we don’t. We’re human and we make mistakes, tumble and fall, pick ourselves up and start over. God, i hate it when i answer myself. Argh! I’m getting nowhere!

I did consider doing something that i’m good at, but not neccesarily like it, so that i might earn enough to keep me, myself and i happy. Haha, since when does money ever buy happines? (there i go again answering myself) I guess i just don’t wanna end up like what my parents are doing. They just do it for the job, to earn to keep the family together kinda situation. That’s good and everything, but that’s not satisfying. Sooner or later, i’m gonna be bored, and when i’m bored, i go crazy and do nutz stuff like, today. Forced myself to read Da Vince Code even though the damn movie spoilt it (ppl, always read the novel first, then watch the movie) and ended up in a serious delegation with one of the music teachers on Christianity……. which concluded with Phantom of the Opera?? Okie… that wasn’t very nutty….

Nowadays, i’m just freakin paranoid of making bad choices. I just never thought i would end up making decisions like these before. (curse the M’sian Edu system for not allowing their students take up subs they want in higer grades). I’m just having a bad day i guess. Maybe that’s why i’m being all so contemplative today. Shucks, curse sardin sambal…………..

Stop! I’m in a delirious state at the moment because I’ve just talked to an Oompa-Loompa! Yes, it’s true. Oompa-Loompa’s are described as short, primitive looking men, with unshaven beards and god knows what other facial hair and their fashion is, until this day, animal skin. But that’s basically not it. What I’m trying to describe is the characteristics of an Oompa-Loompa. They’re playful creatures, that love to sing-a-long and make up funny rhymes; as stated in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, written by Roald Dahl. WRONG! That’s is what they want you to believe. In real life, Oompa-Loompa are in actual fact, normal looking human beings. Except that they love to rhyme, are stupid, weird, doesn’t understand simple English words like, "no" and "leave me alone" and "grow up’; loves to tease ppl, makes lame jokes, talk about themselves constantly and their oh-so amazing achievements, which gives the impression that they’re smaller than they actually are! Oh, and u meet the really evil ones, they love to blame you for everything, even if u didn’t do anything, they believe you did them and would continue stalking you.

And oh yea, i just found my beloved ‘Little Oxford Dictionary & Thesaurus’! Yay, i don’t have to buy the big heavy ones now! Anyway, I’ve come up with a few interesting finds.

1. manipulate : to handle skilfully or cunningly.
2. deception : to trick or to mislead someone into believing something illusionary.
3. Misdirection : to direct a person’s attention away from what is actually happening, which usually is something that shouldn’t be done.
4. Lie : a statement that is known to be untrue.

So, all being said and done, we’ll take this for example : You’re asking for help, the person helping you eventually wants things out of you. What can u do? If you’re someone who bends easily, u would, of course, succumb to that persons demands because u think u owe the person for helping you. But if you’re someone who stands for his/her rights, you would, (and this is most probably the logical thing to do), is stand for your right and state it clearly that the help was given on free will and on no account was there any statement that you owe so-and-so this. Not that I’m saying everyone who helps out is like that, I’m just stating the cunning ones who thinks that they deserve more than necessarily returned.

And for crying out loud, if you do wanna lend a hand, please do it out of a genuine heart. If you’re doing it out of hoping to get something in return, then don’t bother. Chances are you are gonna be disappointed in the end. Don’t say i didn’t warn you! I hate people who, help out, suddenly comes around and wants something that they know and i reinstate KNOW they cannot have, (and being told for ages so, and please move along instead of being a whiner about it) and after all that, refuses to continue helping out. This would leave the other party in a bit of a sticky-wicket. It leaves them in a muddle, and who asks to be left like that. It’s horrible.

Oh well, luckily there are a few individuals who have plucky friends who are good at predicting the outcome of such situations (and are mostly right) and we get ourselves prepared. So boo-hoo if you think that you’ve won and you want me to say the things you want to hear because it ain’t happening. There is more than meets the eye which clearly describes YOU! Ta-ta.

Yay!! Yesterday’s music concert was a bomb!!! Haha, was worried for the 10 minutes before the whole thing started cuz i was one of the stage crew + i had like 4-5 performance on stage. So yea, was worried i might screw up something. Unlike the previous concert where my first performance was playing itself, this time i had time to warm up to the stage. By going out and just singing and clapping ‘We will rock you’ with the rest of my mates and the faculty band. It did take my nervousness off. And working with Siao Leng whom i know well, made things a whole lot easier! Yay us; C3 and C4! (meaning crew no. 3 and 4)

Anyway, our summer medley which came in last before the end of the first set went smoothly! Our band was called ‘On the Map’ and only consisted of 5 girls! Yay, girl power!! The transitions to the other songs went smoothly, and this time i didn’t forget my cue! And even though i did slip up a few chords, i didn’t panic! Usually i do, but i didn’t which i consider a huge feat on my part. Ah…. and it seems that once again duets are a no-no for me. I blanked out at one point. hehe…

Oh i love the ‘Buttercups’. They were 4 lil girls aged 5-6 i think and they sang Rainbow Connection! So cute……. And ‘Off the Charts’ were awesome with their ‘Mission Impossible + Pink panther’ Medley. Culture fix 1 was an interesting performance. We had a guest performer play on the Veena, u know the traditional Indian guiter that’s huge and played sitting on the floor? That was a great addition to the whole rock atmosphere we had. Oooh… and the battle of the bands was funny, challenging the teachers and all. First time playing guiter on stage, and i don’t even play the guiter! And then Siao Leng came up and played ‘Castle in the Sky’ accompanied by flutes. I love that one. It was so melancholic and mellow….. Then the faculty band. With teachers playing, obviously it would be flawless! And i wonder if i sang on the correct pitch. I could barely hear myself over the others. Oh well, it’s all over now.

Yes it’s all over now…… back to college next week. Back to practicing scales and exam pieces for my exam in August. Oh bother. And i can’t go for that recording with the other girls coz i start college on the same week as that! Would be fun though….. oh well, i guess I’ll have to hear all about it and use my imagination to what happened.

Ah…. Past few days have been somewhat busy. Finally it’s June! Which means Music Makers Concert and College. (i’m definitely dreading the latter one). Oh yea, and previously the 17 photo shoot. It’s okie. And it’s hard! I mean, okie i’ve never gotten into the habit of taking photos while moving, so pretending ur having fun splashing around and looking at the camera is thoroughly exhausting. Like the last shoot, they made us walk like 30 times back and forth because the alignment between us was out. Damn the artificial sand, my heel has been exfoliated to mere thin skin. Haha, I’m never joking about America’s Next Top Model again……

And so, Music Maker’s concert 2006 : Light, Camera, Movies. It’s our annual concert where we usher in new talent and show off child prodegies in the school. This year’s one is a whole lot of fun. For one thing, there are more medleys and band playing and not so much duets. And ‘cher Pearly is super nice when it comes to what we wanna do with music and the band members. hehe……. Anyway, i’ve been really neglecting my music pieces which i very well know i shouldn’t (considering this is the 2nd time i’m playing the exact same pieces) and therefore should be very well rehearsed in it. Ah, i’m driving Mr lean up the wall, and God knows he’s an extremely patient person. Oopz…. anyway, in case those of you are interested, it’s this sunday (june 18) at Security Commission, Mt Kiara. Time is 4pm - 6pm and tickets are rm20. Msg me if u wanna come. All is welcome (duh)

I still have no idea what subs to choose for A levels. Oh bother, i’ll worry about that later.